Yes, I am asking. Again. I just have nobody to critique them. So please do, thanks :)
*
"A Love Sonnet"
Undoubtedly our love is from the past,
born and died, now returned from the beyond
the times and customs may differ from last
we spoke, but never changing is our bond.
We'd waltz to tunes reeking of nostalgia,
love letters, and sentiments of the heart,
twirling in vintage lace and taffeta
onto canvas screens of oil painted art.
Now you'll slide your arm around my shoulder,
a debonair move stifled with a yawn
and one morning, months away, you'll murmur
three words, that suddenly, on you, don.
Through time and space we have found each other
I am yours, and you are mine, sweet lover.
*
How do you breathe when you can't catch your breath
when the world is turning too quick to think
wait until the spiderweb years of death
latch on with icy fingers, and the brink
of insanity pulls you undertow
the murky rust waters of ignorance
absorbing your poison skin in a show
of violent affection, leaving remnants
of the past, thoughts of the present, and dreams
of the furture buried in hills of sand.
Then, when morning shines through trees bare of leaves
casting a raging glow over the land,
fire erupts from the bones beneath the earth,
unsettling flames escaping the hearth.
*
"Note to P.C."
Prince charming, I don't want your fairytale
ending. Please don't take this personally,
but the whole "true love" thing? Kind of a fail.
I mean, why would I kiss a toad to free
you from a damnn spell? No way, Jose.
No offense, I'm sure you're a great guy, but
being a princess isn't my forte;
the corset wouldn't fit over THIS gut
and I couldn't dance to save my own life.
You really shouldn't be so pushy, man,
I undertstand you're desperate for a wife,
a wife who is the fairest in the land.
See, that girl just isn't me, your highness,
but I promise you'll find your princess.
*
Critque, comments, and suggestions on how to improve?
Thanks :)
BQ: Do you like to write poetry? How about read it?
BQ2: Francesca Lia Block or Holly Black?
BQ3: Italy or France?
BQ4: Germany or Switerzland?
Thanks again! :)
Answer on TEENS: What are your opinions on these? +BQ's?
You should really ask this in the poetry section.
